Stuff
Issue date: 4/15/04 Section: A&E
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Weekly Horoscopes:
What do the stars have in store for you this week?
Your week at a glance:
* - At least you're alive.
** - Don't leave the house.
*** - Could be better or worse.
**** - You can't complain.
***** - Disgustingly great!
Happy Birthday, Aries!
Congratulations on making it another year. The tides are turning and this year will be much better. The stars are in your favor right now, so buy a lottery ticket and hope for the best!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The world is a scary place. Stay home. The likelihood of getting hit by a bus is far less if you don't leave your house.
*
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
A close friend that you've been spending time with lately is hiding something. You better go to the doctor.
**
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Trust is a big issue in your life right now. Or the lack of trust if you want to get technical. Suck it up; not everyone is lying to you.
***
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Watch your attitude this week. Avoid temper-tantrums especially involving your significant other. Nobody is going to put up with that crap.
**
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
It was the best of times; well...okay, it was the worst of times. The point is last week was horrible. Don't fret! Things are looking up for you.
***
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Long-distance love, whether it be love across the country or love from the past, will pop up. Give it a chance, you won't get another one.
****
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
This week you are the master of flirting. Take advantage of it because this is a talent you rarely have and it won't last long.
*****
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Now would be a good time to shadow someone and learn about a career. Be careful though. There's a fine line between shadowing and stalking.
***
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
What do the stars have in store for you this week?
Your week at a glance:
* - At least you're alive.
** - Don't leave the house.
*** - Could be better or worse.
**** - You can't complain.
***** - Disgustingly great!
Happy Birthday, Aries!
Congratulations on making it another year. The tides are turning and this year will be much better. The stars are in your favor right now, so buy a lottery ticket and hope for the best!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The world is a scary place. Stay home. The likelihood of getting hit by a bus is far less if you don't leave your house.
*
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
A close friend that you've been spending time with lately is hiding something. You better go to the doctor.
**
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Trust is a big issue in your life right now. Or the lack of trust if you want to get technical. Suck it up; not everyone is lying to you.
***
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Watch your attitude this week. Avoid temper-tantrums especially involving your significant other. Nobody is going to put up with that crap.
**
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
It was the best of times; well...okay, it was the worst of times. The point is last week was horrible. Don't fret! Things are looking up for you.
***
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Long-distance love, whether it be love across the country or love from the past, will pop up. Give it a chance, you won't get another one.
****
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
This week you are the master of flirting. Take advantage of it because this is a talent you rarely have and it won't last long.
*****
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Now would be a good time to shadow someone and learn about a career. Be careful though. There's a fine line between shadowing and stalking.
***
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)